Fade AwayBoruSara
by yumis-corner
Summary: Sarada Uchiha- a seventeen year old, who deeply treasures her childhood memories with her best friend- Boruto Uzumaki, is finally about to face the reality. Facing the reality, realising and hence accepting it- has always been hard for everyone, since it demands for answers and decisions. What would she choose? More importantly, would she be able to choose? Keeping her feelings a


SARADA

Today was the day.

My best friend, can be officially classified as a mature adult. 'Mature'- being an obviously sarcastic comment.

I get to finally meet him, after so long- though I wonder, how he must have been?

Whatever happens, I'm sure he'll still be the same old idiot struggling to keep up. I'm sure he'll start annoying me the second I see him. I'm sure he would be lazing around eating about a zillion burgers on his couch, trying to grab the TV remote whilst refusing to get up. I'm sure that his hair which closely resemble to that of Draco Malfoy in terms of the rich blonde colour would still be messy. I'm sure he'll have that stupid grin on his face after he would do something silly melting even Satan's heart. I'm sure he would still wear a slight hint of something pink in his outfit. I'm sure he would refuse to admit that it's his favourite colour.

I'm sure.

As I recollected everything, I felt an unfamiliar yet familiar feeling. It's hard to describe it, honestly. The closest description I can come up with, is when the fluids inside my stomach just go haywire; refusing to corporate. 'Butterflies in my stomach'- is an understatement. More like- 'dragons in my stomach playing football'.

Not to mention, the apparently different smile and red coloration on my face. Whenever I'm unfortunately put into such situations thanks to him, it becomes next to impossible for me to keep a steady eye contact, which automatically in turn, leads me to look down. And, to cover up my this abnormal behaviour, I pretend to adjust my glasses.

I mean, that's just how I work.

But, why does this happen to me?

Let me not focus on that right now, I'm here for him. For Boruto.

Boruto. Boruto. Boruto...

I've seen his face change expressions from smiling to crying, laughing to getting upset, acting brave to curling into a ball out of fear, getting angry to getting excited, and just so many countless more.

I wonder... what expression would he make upon seeing me? After six years?

I'm not sure.

Would he be surprised? Well, technically he should be since I am- in fact, surprising him.

I want to find out.

But, today is the day- as I stand before the Uzumaki residence which seemed to have been recently renovated.

It has... changed. A lot.

The chimney which was my classic spot when it came to hide and seek was now missing on the flattened roof. The brick wall where I remember getting hurt countless times for moving way too closely was now all smooth and even. The huge windows which would be 100% hassle to clean for aunt Hinata were a clear replacement to the small ones curtained up. I couldn't get the view of the backyard, but I wouldn't be surprised to the slightest to find a coffee table and countless statues along with a fountain.

Well, a definition of a modern house to summarise everything to the least. It is different, but I'm not complaining- it's beautiful. I'm sure it would have looked way better in the morning with sunlight reflecting through the white walls.

When I think about it, I'm just... probably not ready to see him.

Even so, I want to see him.

I could hear a few voices from inside with a hint of music in the background. Friends? Nah. Knowing him, I'd probably blame his TV volume.

Even so, I couldn't neglect the possibility of him having his friends over, but I eliminated that immediately as I anxiously raised my hand, with it clearly shivering slightly as I tried to imagine the newly turned eighteen year old idiot who would open the door to come greet me with that stupid smile of his.

Was I presentable? Would he recognise me? Does my breath stink? Are my hands too sweaty? Did the number of my spectacles change at the eleventh hour and I'm not able to see him? Is my red hoodie alright? Do my sneakers make a lot of noise? Is the perfume given by mum too strong? What if it's too faint and I end up stinking? What if he gets disgusted?

About a million of such unnecessary questions ran through my head in the span of a couple of seconds as my hand continued to move forward- towards the perfectly crafted doorbell; which is when I was unexpectedly interrupted by sudden blast (I mean it) of music and cheers from the inside. Spoiler alert: I probably ruptured my timpanum.

But, it was too late.

I had already pressed to bell with the classic ring echoing in my head.

How much I hate this.

You know that moment when you want to change your decision by simply freezing and stopping, but your brain being the complete rebel it is- refuses to accept your orders and lazily follows the initial ones? Yup. This was it.

I had done it. I had rung the doorbell.

No backing off. No running away. No getting nervous. Just face it. You're an Uchiha, cha!

He's not someone whom you should be afraid of. He's the same old Boruto. You don't need to worry, he'll be the same. Same old Boruto.

Carefree, fun, energetic, optimistic, talented, and just way too unacceptably lovably handso—

Wait, NO!

Great. I haven't thought things through, and even tho I'm trying my hardest I'm still left all confused, anxious and scared (to summarise- nervously weirded out).

I so wasn't prepared to see him.

With my heart suddenly beating at an immense rate, and me going into a state of borderline paralysis- I was just so unprepared. My eyes ended up unconsciously shutting tight, as I nervously looked down, not ready or willing to look straight into the brighter than the ocean itself- pair of blue eyes. I could have sworn that I was blushing- out of nervousness. Nothing else.

Just then, I was unexpectedly caught off guard with the huge whitewashed (presumably as heavy as that Testing Gate in the Zoldyck Family's estate) smoothly gliding open, with the burst of music unbearably louder greeting me-- just when I had thought that the level of sound wasn't on it's peak level when the door lay shut earlier.

Ehhh that ain't TV? Actual people inside? His friends?

I'm here to give him a surprise. Not get surprised myself. But the number of surprises I've been receiving since I've arrived here isn't some kind of joke.

For instance, upon the opening of the door, revealed about a five feet short, dark haired boy with huge rectangular glasses which barely made it to his face; and judging his body language, he seemed to be even more nervous than me for some reason.

This isn't Boruto.

The music and the continuous cheering of his name made it next to impossible for me and this random dude to communicate. Stupid 'friends'. Not to forget mentioning that my rarely seen anxiety and nervousness was strongly building up which made the entire situation even harder.

Just when I had come up with the shortest possible explanation of nine minutes and seventeen seconds clarifying my presence and identity, this guy simply hurried back inside upon apparently hearing his friends call out for him, leaving me dumbfounded and even more nervous.

I tried to briefly follow this dude, but Kami just chooses to hate me- my eyes were way too blinded to see what's in front of me thanks to the bright light which was constantly changing colours making me wish I was colourblind. Even so, I did vaguely manage to spot a ton of guys gathered all around in the massive living room, cheering as they made their way through with red cups filled with probably the bitter liquid I always excused myself from.

Oh.

Wait.

I get it now.

This is one of those scenes I come across in books when it comes to 'parties'.

Everyone having the time of their lives. Swinging, dancing, laughing, singing, yelling, presumably drinking, fainting, hooking up, and things I didn't know about since I always skipped that section.

I didn't like it.

Why?

Because I didn't fit it.

I would never.

Even so, my desire to meet my best friend hadn't faded. So what if he was currently occupied in a party I had absolutely no idea about? I had come here to spend time with him.

Nervously, with my eyes still not being able to adjust to the abrupt darkness followed by lightning flashes of the contrasting colours of rainbow, I managed to briefly take a couple of steps as I unconsciously played around with my thumbs signalling my discomfort in such a situation I've never been in.

No, this isn't some nerdy girl getting dragged into a party because of that standard-completely opposite friend of hers who wants to have fun. No. Not at all.

I came here on my own will, just so that I can surprise and meet my old Boruto. Whom I spent most of my childhood with. A person whom I could genuinely trust and rely on. At the same time, someone whom I saw as a rival and my partner in crime. He was the one— I wanted to spend time with- on his birthday. Today.

How much I hated that grin of his which would, without fail- give me a weird feeling in my stomach along with 'fever', apparently staining my cheeks. I hated that unfamiliar feeling I mentioned earlier. Despised it, honestly.

Even so, I'm wishing, praying and yearning to see that stupid smile of his on those whiskered cheeks... once more.

I want that weird feeling back. I want to call him an 'idiot'. I want to make fun of his banana hair. I want him to make fun of my nerdy red glasses. I want to play hide and seek with him. I want to pinch his whiskered cheeks. I want him to catch me in tag. I just really... want... him.

I... miss him.

Before I had realised, I was already standing in the corner of his living room where the lights couldn't make its way through. I wasn't looking for him, and neither was he. My head lay low with my eyes fixated upon my shoes as I refused to introduce myself to any of his new friends.

I've just never felt so... out of place.

What is this feeling?

I was jealous?

No, obviously not. I am in fact happy for him, that he is likeable for so many people to be with him. Even so, my current emotion cannot be defined as that of happiness clearly.

Then, I was sad?

No, why should I be? Everyone around me is having so much fun! Boruto himself is having fun guaranteed. It's his birthday after all.

Then, am I... hurt?

I wasn't hurt because I was never invited to this party which is currently getting hosted. I didn't expect to be invited to begin with since I moved from Konoha long ago.

I wasn't hurt because I couldn't dance or get into the crowd and socialise like them or him.

I wasn't hurt because I wasn't 'cool' like these people and preferred reading while sipping on some black tea.

No. Not at all.

I was hurt because I was forgotten.

That terrible feeling that I was unwanted. Memories that mattered to me so much didn't mean anything in the end? How pathetic.

The music which everyone seemed to be enjoying, the laughs, the occasional yelling of his name, everything about it- although an extremely happy and full of enjoyment surrounding, had someone like me. In the corner- wishing that I hadn't come here to begin with.

He doesn't need me.

Why would he?

He's got so many friends around him, unlike the the time when I knew him back then, when it was just us. But right now? Everything has come to the point where I myself cannot spot him.

I'm honestly not surprised- really. When I think about it, he was always like this. He always wanted to make friends, have fun and help them out no matter what.

I was... no one... special.

I was still standing, aimlessly. This corner which back then seemed so unbelievably unwanted and unnecessary, just so happens to be the only spot which I'm currently comfortable in being in.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to let everything out. I couldn't control anymore. I cannot. But I should. I'm an Uchiha after all! This place- which was absolutely my favourite place to come to, when I was happy, frustrated, sad, upset, angry- which gave me so many wonderful memories— is the same place I want to get away from and forget.

So I did.

I couldn't stay here anymore. I just couldn't. It was unbearable, to the point where I wished to disappear as I proceeded my way towards the huge door, with my vision turning blurrier and a thin film of salty water accumulating over my dark eyes.

But, even so- I didn't cry. I'm not weak. I'm an Uchiha! I don't want to get even more hurt by staying here. Just a little more, I need to hold everything in. Everything will be alright. Just a little more.

I took a deep breath, inhaling- with my sneakers making extremely unladylike noises as I hurried my way towards the door. It wasn't an issue tho, the loud music and bright flickering lights made it perfect for me to hide in the shadows and leave. I don't care if I'm choosing this method as a mean of escaping. Because, it's true.

I am escaping.

I don't exactly know what happened to me then, but, from the corner of my eye, just then, for probably a span of a second, even lesser1 I caught a glimpse of the forgotten memory which I hadn't cherished enough-- the carpeted stairway.

"I wonder if that place still exists."

Murmuring those words, directed to no one else but myself, I ended up finding myself getting attracted- dragged- pulled: unwilling. I don't know what exactly happened, but that was it. Curiosity.

Could he be there?

Possibly?

The slightest of slight possibility, made my legs automatically change it's route as I hesitantly, at the same time nervously marched towards the huge staircase with a neat deep red carpet pulled over.

The blasting music accompanied with occasional cheers was fading away as I climbed higher and higher, making me a little less nervous. With the silence taking over; the familiar silence- yet unfamiliar. Something about it, made me realise my current self.

Alone.

What was I doing? Was I this desperate to see him? I still had hopes that he'd be up there- waiting for me, and not with his friends?

The higher I went, the immense pain inside me grew. But, I was willing to take that risk- I wanted to know. The silence that had enveloped around me, caused the building up of a smile on my face- completely contrasting to my current feelings and emotions.

With my footsteps being barely audible, I finally stood before the last step leading to the once beautiful, balcony door. I was on the horns of dilemma- I wanted to see whether he'd be there, at the same time I didn't want to move just to get even more hurt or upset if he was absent.

The chances of him being there, waiting for me- were less than what I had initially imagined.

The door before me was a choice.

I could open it and get either extremely happy, or sad, and simply accept the reality and leave. Forever.

Even so, my utter desire and 'want' to see him eliminated the 'what if's' instantly, as I- upon taking the deepest breath climbed up that last step, followed by making my choice- by sliding the dark door with all my might and hopes.

He wasn't there.

I knew it.

After a few moments of deep silence, helplessly, I found myself walking towards the railing. The weird noise which my sneakers made upon me taking steps ahead, just made me realise how in the end- it would just be me.

How much I hate to admit this.

I hated him.

I hated how he saw me when no one else did. I hated how he could make out what I was thinking just by looking into my eyes. I hated how he made me feel things no one else could. I hated how he knew whenever there was something was wrong with me. I hated how he understood me when no one else did. But most importantly, I hated how he... knew me more than I did myself.

Then, why can't I hate him now?

Where is he? Why can't I find him? Why can't he find me? Have we distanced so much over the past years?

It is extremely wrong to define special relationships between people just because they have fun around or with them. No.

The people whose absence you realise, are truly special to you.

Despite the time, distance, problems, you always come back to these people. That's why they are special.

He was special to me. He still is.

It's unfortunate. Really.

If I could, I would have laughed at myself for being this stupid and assuming that he cared for me— more. But I cannot. I cannot laugh at myself. Whenever I think about me, I wonder about what in the world was I even expecting? It's sad.

Oh, did I expect this to turn out like some fairy tale? Where no matter what, the prince always comes back to the princess?

Lies.

In fact, I don't know.

Surely, he's a prince. Perfect. Simply.

I'm no princess tho.

I wear glasses instead of a crown, sneakers instead of heels, sweats instead of a gown, nervousness instead of pride, frown instead of a smile, and even so- I expect things to turn out happily?

How foolish of me.

I had never felt like this.

Why is suddenly everything about me something that I hate? Have I seriously started to hate myself? Because he 'hates' me?

Well, I know for sure that I don't matter to him.

For sure.

The smile on my face grew, my muscles relaxed, and my eyes refused to accept the reality by continuing to gather the alkaline water; as I made my way ahead, enough for me to grasp the metal railing giving me support.

I tried to look into a distance, but I couldn't. My eyes and heart wouldn't allow me to. The sudden realisation was too hard for me to take in, all at once.

He isn't here.

I would be lying that somewhere down the line, I hadn't expected this- though, it was always difficult for me to accept it. Accepting that I'm forgotten, unwanted and long lost—

I laughed as all the memories kept rushing to me, laughed like I had never before- to the point where I had to let go of my firm grip on the metal bar and instead hold my stomach indicating it to stop already; but, it took me a while to realise the presence of a small crystal beads escaping from my eyes- as I felt their warmth, trickling down my cheeks, and rolling off my chin.

I tried to hold it all in, but I couldn't- and before I could realise, my eyes were flooded with the salty tears, almost like a dam which had finally set free.

I never wanted to cry, moreover cry for some who doesn't even acknowledge my existence anymore. Even so, why are these silly tears not stopping?

The past memories I had shared right here, years ago- came back rushing to me all of a sudden in a span of seconds. The last time when we had played hide and seek, where I hid in a barrel right here-just before hugging him whilst promising him that I'll be back once he stops being a kid and turns into an adult- today, that is.

I remember waiting there forever, for him to find me. I wanted him to find me for the first time. And he did. Soon after sheepishly smiling and apologising saying, "You are good at hide and seek.".

Why have I treasured these memories so much? He doesn't even remember me, then why do I remember the promise we had made?Why does anything even matter to me so much anymore anyways? Have I sunk down to a level where I've lost my self respect to such an extent? Where is the bold Uchiha I always was?

The world around me seemed to have completely blurred out, into the greys. My muffled cries- which I was trying so hard to hold in, were the ones that echoed around, in the balcony under the starry sky.

I couldn't take this anymore... I really...cannot.

I hate how I gave him so much importance, that I ended up forgetting myself? Counting the number of days left- literally on my fingers, not being able to sleep since I was so excited to meet him- every, every freaking thing- I regret.

How could I? Most importantly, how could he?

"Idiot."

Just when I had said it, before my brain could actually process what was going around me- in a fraction of second, with what seemed like a great amount of strength- my helpless and tired body was carelessly, yet carefully: twirled, with my shoulders getting grabbed from a distance, and pulling me around.

Before I my eyes could even open, realisation hit me. Warm, exhausted yet strong arms were wrapped around me, as my face had sunk into the hard, masculine chest, with my hands unconsciously on it- grabbing the fabric that lay which had already been quickly soaked wet, thanks to not only my tears, but also his own sweat and tiredness.

I didn't know who it was, even after opening my completely drained out eyes reluctantly, I couldn't see anything since my spectacles refused to cooperate, with them having a dense fog on them thanks to me crying.

I could practically hear the beating of his heart, with my face glued to his chest, which rose and sank as his breathing rate increases- almost as if he had run a marathon. Realistically, ran up the carpeted stairway leading up here, to me.

"I'm sorry, it took me longer to find you... like always... you're good at hide and seek... " he said, just when he had caught his breath.

It hit me.

That's when I knew.

It was him.

Him.

Boruto.

My Boruto.

Immediately, my arms tangled around him, with me gripping him tightly myself, as I sank my face further inside his chest willingly, with his T shirt getting soaked even more. The familiar sent which he always let out was still lingering around him, although the huge effect of alcohol had largely overpowered it.

Idiot.

Even though it was cold, with the cloth all wet because of me shredding my silly teardrops, his chest was warm. Burning. So was my face. His voice had changed, gotten a lot deeper and sexie— no. Deeper.

But I didn't care.

He was here.

He remembered our promise.

My best friend.

His grip on me increased further, almost as if he was just as longing to see and meet me like I had been to him. He was literally strangling me. Not that he wasn't getting strangled himself.

His dark shirt was getting wetter, but, I didn't even realise how he had replaced my tears of sadness to that of happiness just with his presence.

He was still panting, with me right there, I could hear his heartbeat which refused to slow down. My heart was thumping itself unbelievably, saturating each and every inch of my body with that same unfamiliar feeling of warmth and tenderness, which now seemed to be getting familiar with the every passing second.

Even in my happiness, I couldn't say anything. My voice seemed to have been completely silenced with my heart beating out loud almost like a drum inside- letting out all my feelings.

And he got them.

No words were exchanged between us. He didn't say anything, and neither did I. We just stayed. We were comfortable. More than comfortable, in fact.

Sometimes, you don't need words, all you need are those strong emotions- which are able to connect, unite, and understand people. In the end, those are what that mean and matter the most.

The tears continued to stream down my face, I was so unbelievably happy, the ride which I've been through over the past years was finally coming to an end and I just couldn't control it anymore.

Yes, I'm an Uchiha. But, aren't Uchihas humans too?

Even so, although I didn't want to let go of him, I wanted to know how he looked now. I always saw and have nown him as a goofy dude, but, right now- I want to see him as a guy. A guy with broad shoulders, hard chest, muscular arms and— let me give my imagination a little rest.

With my sobs still clear enough, and my desire to see him growing even further, I tried to escape from his embrace just so that I could see his face finally tonight. But, he forcefully pushed me back into a hug even more tightly.

That's when I realised.

He didn't want to see me cry.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

That was one hell of a one shot I decided to post without any prior warning hah!

I like to imagine myself in place of Sarada in this one shot which is why I may or may not have gotten in too much of details with her thoughts, but everything seemed so needed. I couldn't practically skip anything!

I'm going to be honest, this is actually the first time I'm writing in Sarada's POV and a one shot- so I don't know if it's decent.

I would truly appreciate you guys' support, so if you liked this chapter, please take a moment to let me know your thoughts by reviewing 

(constructive criticism is always welcomed)

Also, if you ended up enjoying, I'm sure you'd like my BoruSara fanfiction- "Fortunate Accidents"!

ALSO I AM WORKING ON ANOTHER BORUSARA FANFIC SINCE LIKE MORE THAN A YEAR (ahhh)

Anyways, thanks for reading!

-Yumi


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